Lessons I learned from my mom

This is what I said at my mothers celebration:  

 My mother's spirit shown through - even when she was really sick.  The staff and residents at Cayuga Ridge saw this.  She lit up a room!   I learned many lessons from my mom. 

beaty - My mother had a beautiful spirit and a beautiful smile and taught me that beauty is important.  that presentation is important - it is not superficial, as I used to think.   Beautiful flowers, a beautiful beach, a beautiful night sky and a beautiful smile make us happy.  They take us out of ourselves and help us remember there is something more than our physical form.  My mother always looked beautiful.  She put time into her appearance.  I didn't understand this when I was young, but now I do.  It is important to care about how we present ourselves in the world.

faith - my mother taught me that no matter what, I would be ok.  She taught me to take risks and go after my dreams and that I would be OK no matter what happens.  I know I struggle with letting go of the outcome of things, but I do believe that I will be OK.  My mother's illness taught me about letting go of the outcome.  I tried and tried to help her get better, but I had no control over the outcome.  At the end, I asked one of my teachers and she told me that all healers need to let go of the outcome.  That I need to do what I do out of love and let go of the outcome

the essence of what my mother was - love and personal responsibility.  My mother's life was not easy.  She believed strongly in what she believed in and would fight for it.  Tooth and nail!

Personal responsibility - On my mother's death bed, she apologized to the nurse.  She said she was sorry for throwing up.  She never wanted to be a burden to anyone.  She tried to take care of herself.  She tried to take care of her house.  She took care of her children.  She was sick and unable to care for herself or her house.   She did not let me know how sick she was.  I believe because she did not want me to worry. She wanted to take care of herself.  I cannot say what her lessons were, but I know she was a strong woman and she taught me about taking responsibility for myself and my life.

Love.  The essence of it all.  My mother was a loving woman.  She loved me and my sister and her mother and our dogs.  She would do anything for us.  There seemed to be nothing more important to her.  She always loved me and I knew it.  She acted out of love.  She saw through the eyes of love.  Even in the end.  I believe that my mother decided to leave this earth partially for me.  She saw me running around and she would say I am doing too much.  She knew I would never give up on her.  She gave me the name hope and I always had hope that she would get better.  I believe she wanted to release me from the responsibility of caring for her.  I believe she did this out of love.  I believe she accepted her fate gracefully. 

She was an amazing woman and an amazing spirit.  I was lucky to have her as a teacher in this life..

Rachel's memories of Grandma

As far back as I could remember, Grandma was a beautiful woman.  I remember walking from her house in Florida.  There were little shops and pools.  We used to go to my Great Grandmother's house.  We used to swim in the pool.  I remember her putting blond streaks in mine and Sarah's hair.  I only got one because my mom didn't like chemicals.  Whenever Grandma came to Ithaca I remember her at the airport with her high heals and red lipstick.  Now when I think back it's sad that I didn't get that much time to get to know her.  And now that she is gone, I miss her.

Grandma and my big sister.

Grandma shows me how to care for horses.  Grandma loved horses.

Dakota speaks about her grandma

I really love my grandma, and I really miss her and I hope she has a really nice time in heaven.
Love,
Dakota

Halloween with Grandma Merrill

 An outing with Grandma

Grandma and mommy!

My mother wrote about her illness Feb, 2011

On February 23, 2011, My mother wrote the following:
(It looks like she was answering questions for disability, which she could not get)

3. Since I fall into things, the wall or have other issues staying erect all the time, I bruise myself and have to wait until the discomfort subsides.
 4. The dizziness cannot be stopped.  The doctors do not know the cause.
 5. The pills I take don't seem to have an effect on the dizziness or lack of balance.  All of the doctors have tried to adjust dosage to no avail.
6. The medicines are not for pain.  Lisinopil and Plavix
7. None that anyone is aware of.
8. No
9. I have to be very cautious and take great care when cooking to make sure I don't spill anything hot.  My hands get weak as well and tremble when I try to hold a bottle or pot.  Personal care - I get dizzy in the shower when I close my eyes and must make sure I am steady to start.  Housecleaning, cleaning, laundry and shopping can be difficult tasks.  On Feb 2, I was shopping and I fell at the shopping center.  I cut both knees, a shoulder, my right arm, my left thumb and needed to visit my primary doctor, Dr Evans.
I cannot do housework or gardening or maintenance.  I have had to give up repairs that I used to do until someone visits who can perform these things for me.
10.  I must advise my employer of my condition since I am unable to pinpoint when I might become dizzy, lose my balance or have to take a break. 

Sarah wrote about her grandmother

There are memories I have of my grandmother from years ago. I remember Going to Florida, and her taking me to Chuckie cheese, and helping me draw on the back porch, taking us to Disney world. She was fun. And will be missed.

 Grandma's lap is comfy!

My grandma and my pink piggy.  What a great time!

My mom's dog, Laddie

My mom loved her little dog Laddie.  She had a stuffed Laddie (pictured below) who she cherished. 

mom and her Uncle Morris Fels

on Howard Avenue in Woodmere, NY

My mom and her mom - 1948-49

Family Photo - YaYa, Mom, Deanna, Ali, Rachel, Sarah

my beautiful mom

My mom's best friend, Karen wrote about her

She was my oldest and dearest friend. She was a special part of me and her adoring family.  All who knew her were inspired by the good person we knew.

We were 12 years old when we met and became fast friends for life.  When people first met us they thought that we were sisters and we loved to play that game.  We would dress alike, do our hair the same way, and have lots of fun.  We both were about 5’1”, weighed about 100 lbs.  We wore hiphugger pants, bikini bathing suits, and having each other gave us the time of our lives.

She was the maid of honor at my wedding and I was the matron of honor at hers.  We both had children and we always stayed in and enriched each others life.  Ten years ago, my husband Richard and I bought a home in Delray Beach, Florida and with Merri in Boca Raton, we were once again together.  Our friendship was rekindled.  We always bonded and had a very special friendship.  It was exciting and uplifting to be with my friend.  We were defined by our friendship and those who knew us recognized a special identity we shared.  I am so thankful to have experienced so much of life with Merri.  I will miss her dearly.  I will always remember the many good times we shared and am so thankful for the many happy memories she left behind.