Lessons I learned from my mom

This is what I said at my mothers celebration:  

 My mother's spirit shown through - even when she was really sick.  The staff and residents at Cayuga Ridge saw this.  She lit up a room!   I learned many lessons from my mom. 

beaty - My mother had a beautiful spirit and a beautiful smile and taught me that beauty is important.  that presentation is important - it is not superficial, as I used to think.   Beautiful flowers, a beautiful beach, a beautiful night sky and a beautiful smile make us happy.  They take us out of ourselves and help us remember there is something more than our physical form.  My mother always looked beautiful.  She put time into her appearance.  I didn't understand this when I was young, but now I do.  It is important to care about how we present ourselves in the world.

faith - my mother taught me that no matter what, I would be ok.  She taught me to take risks and go after my dreams and that I would be OK no matter what happens.  I know I struggle with letting go of the outcome of things, but I do believe that I will be OK.  My mother's illness taught me about letting go of the outcome.  I tried and tried to help her get better, but I had no control over the outcome.  At the end, I asked one of my teachers and she told me that all healers need to let go of the outcome.  That I need to do what I do out of love and let go of the outcome

the essence of what my mother was - love and personal responsibility.  My mother's life was not easy.  She believed strongly in what she believed in and would fight for it.  Tooth and nail!

Personal responsibility - On my mother's death bed, she apologized to the nurse.  She said she was sorry for throwing up.  She never wanted to be a burden to anyone.  She tried to take care of herself.  She tried to take care of her house.  She took care of her children.  She was sick and unable to care for herself or her house.   She did not let me know how sick she was.  I believe because she did not want me to worry. She wanted to take care of herself.  I cannot say what her lessons were, but I know she was a strong woman and she taught me about taking responsibility for myself and my life.

Love.  The essence of it all.  My mother was a loving woman.  She loved me and my sister and her mother and our dogs.  She would do anything for us.  There seemed to be nothing more important to her.  She always loved me and I knew it.  She acted out of love.  She saw through the eyes of love.  Even in the end.  I believe that my mother decided to leave this earth partially for me.  She saw me running around and she would say I am doing too much.  She knew I would never give up on her.  She gave me the name hope and I always had hope that she would get better.  I believe she wanted to release me from the responsibility of caring for her.  I believe she did this out of love.  I believe she accepted her fate gracefully. 

She was an amazing woman and an amazing spirit.  I was lucky to have her as a teacher in this life..